Quiz from the Far Side

Conspiracy? Beware the FOOHLS

Fans of real rugby news are invited to test their knowledge in the latest edition of the Quiz from the Far Side.

It's that time again. Yes! Put away your bingo cards, pack up your game of monopoly, batten down the hatches, hide your women folk, crouch, touch, pause, touch again, have a drink of Merlot, crouch, pause once more and.....engage!

Are you wise in the ways of rugby? Send us your answers here!

1. Frans Steyn was unable to play for South Africa against the All Blacks because:

a) If he cancelled his hair-do appointment with famous stylist Jean-Phillipe Coupcheveux he'd never get in the door again
b) He was attending a "Embracing your inner Caveman" seminar given by Racing team-mate Sebastien Chabal
c) He had a "groin injury" sustained during a "cultural exchange" with a Parisian hottie
d) C'est qui ces All Blacks? Et ils sont ou tes papiers?

2. We are most likely to see Gavin Henson on the front pages this year in:

a) A Wales jersey
b) An Ospreys jersey
c) A Barbarians jersey
d) A pair of dancing shoes
e) A ballroom gown
f) A clown suit

3. When Peter de Villiers said the Springboks fully supported a man accused of murder he actually meant to say:

a) No comment
b) He isn't in my team, so I'm not involved
c) We're trying not to think about it, we've got a Test match to prepare for
d) Any of the above

4. Steve Borthwick missed the launch of the Heineken Cup because:

a) He was boozing with his mates in a pub in London
b) He was boozing with his team-mates at a festival in Munich
c) He was eating biscuits with his coach in Bloemfontein
d) He was mowing Martin Johnson's lawn

5. When Australia coach Robbie Deans said the All Blacks tactics were 'cynical' he actually meant to say:

a) Can I have a job please?
b) Richie McCaw is my hero
c) Richie McCaw is a dirty, rotten, scoundrel (but he's still my hero)
d) The next ref not to send Richie off is getting a backhand

6. Quade Cooper took three months to decide whether to play Rugby Union or Rugby League because:

a) He still struggles to understand how you can play in a 'league' but still be playing 'Union'
b) Was confused when his mates at the 'Players Union' said he could play 'League' if he wanted too
c) He also wanted colour-coded headgear like Matt Giteau, but the ARU wouldn't budge
d) He knew he'd get a better deal after the Tri-Nations if Matt Giteau kept the kicking duties during the Tri-Nations.

7. English, Irish, Welsh and Scottish refs are on duty in France this week because:

a) It's part of the build up to the launch of Stade Français' new calendar "men with big whistles"
b) Toulon donated the one week's worth of frequent flyer miles accumulated by their foreign legion to the ERC refs association
c) Blue skies and temperatures in the mid 20s have been forecast for the Mediterranean coast this weekend
d) Most players in the Top 14 these days are English speakers anyway

8. Toulon owner Mourad Boujellal accused Dan Carter of 'crossing the line' because he:

a) Preferred to drink Gatorade instead of Pinot Noir during contract negotiations
b) Insisted on being referred to as 'Mr. Achilles' during negotiations
c) Insisted on always getting the top bunk if he had to share a room with fellow fly-half Jonny Wilkinson
d) Insisted on always getting the top bunk if he had to share a room with fellow fly-half Filipe Contepomi
e) Suggested he was worth as many points as Jonny Wilkinson without kicking three drops per match

9. Danny Cipriani has been training with soccer club MK Dons because:

a) Whatever David Beckham can do, Danny can do ...er...almost as well
b) Who cares?
c) Seriously, who cares?
d) Quade Cooper told him crossing codes could help his profile

10. SARU have decided to keep Peter de Villiers as Springbok coach because:

a) Firing him would spark massive unemployment in the South African media
b) The board of directors are all part of secret society called the "Followers of the Order of Overly-Hairy Lips" (FOOHLS)
c) His plane ticket to visit Frans Steyn in Paris was already booked
d) Legally, firing him would be harder than getting Rupeni Caucaunibuca to come back early from holiday